one day at a time

No one notices themselves growing up. 

Days go by, one after the other, everything about you feeling the same in every way until something shocks you into realizing you’re not only no longer a child, but it’s been quite some time since you were one. 

It had been well over a decade since that play, since I allowed Princess Booky to fade away as nothing but a childhood idol, and yet.

And yet, standing a few feet away from Princess Twilight, watching her look over a newspaper, my hands clammy from nerves, I certainly felt like I was twelve again. 

“Princess,” I said, carefully, every inch a scolded child, “you’re truly not upset?”

She didn’t even bother looking at me, her long wings rustling behind her. 

“There’s no use in being upset. You’ll do whatever you want regardless. I can’t really stop you from involving yourself.”

I sat down a healthy distance away from her—not out of fear, but respect. I felt like I ought to give her some sort of space, and the last thing I wanted was to upset her further. I didn’t regret going to Canterlot and asking about her, but… 

Hrm.  

“You…” I chose every word carefully. “You keep saying that as if it’s a bad thing. Helping you, I mean.”

Her eyes fixed on the newspaper, still as a statue. 

“I’m not a good person, Rarity,” she said, suddenly, every word spoken with chilling calm, like she was discussing the weather. “There’s a reason I’m trapped here.”

“You don’t strike me as a bad person,” I replied, cautious. 

Maybe she was a bad person. She very well could be, but she hadn’t been bad to me. Arguably, the only ‘bad’ thing she’d done to me was the assault, and even despite the entirely fair justification for it, the extreme remorse she’d shown after spoke for itself.  

“I appreciate that, Rarity. Thank you for trying to help,” she said, softly. “But—”

She stopped. I pressed. A dance that would become our favorite one of all.

“…But?” 

“But I think you should stop,” she continued.. “You will get hurt. I—” The pause. “I could hurt you.” 

“Ah.” I folded my hands on my lap. “Do you mean that literally? As in physically you’re going to hurt me? Or is it more that involving myself will end up hurting me?”

Her brow furrowed, vacant eyes burning with the ghost of indignation. “I would never hurt you physically.” She winced, surely remembering how we met. “Not on purpose, at least.” 

“Oh! If that’s the case.” I relaxed and smiled politely. “I’ll have you know I was voted ‘Most Likely To Ignore Red Flags’ at my graduation party.” 

She blinked at me, perplexity shining in her eyes. I liked it. I liked feeling like she was just a little bit human. 

“…What does that mean?”

“It means—Honestly, it means something rather terrible, and an absolute misjudgment of my character, and I was just trying to be funny right now, but—!” I cleared my throat. “The point is hurting is a risk I’m willing to take. And, like you said…” I fluttered my eyelashes. “I’ll do what I want, regardless.”

She snorted air out of her nose, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d have said it looked like she almost laughed. 

“I  guess you will, Rarity. I guess you will.”