In the late hours of the night, the majority of the castle’s inhabitants were fast asleep, save for a select few. Some of the cooks moved about in the kitchens, preparing the meals for the next day. The scholars stayed late in the library, preparing their speeches and essays to present to the king.
A bodyguard—the finest bodyguard in the land—yawned and rubbed a hoof against her eyes, standing guard outside the bedroom of Equestria’s crown princess.
In the distance, the clock tower chimed once, and so did the guard decide it was time to check on her beloved. There were early meetings to attend, and it would be ill-advised if the princess slept through half of them.
As quietly as she could, she opened the door, creeping inside and smiling at the sight of the peaceful pony bundled up in the corner bed. The princess’s soft breathing permeated the room, and when the door of the room closed, she did not seem to stir.
She was, it seemed, fast asleep.
Or so Twilight thought, until a flash of magic filled the room, every single candle in the room flickered to life, and Princess Rarity the First sat up straight.
“Twilight!” she exclaimed, clapping her hooves together. “I was waiting for you!”
One day, Twilight thought, one truly amazing day, Princess Rarity would actually stay asleep the entire night.
“Your Highness!” the bodyguard chastised. “It’s one in the morning!” A scroll appeared next to her, which she shoved her hoof at. “You have to be awake at six!”
Princess Rarity blinked. “And?”
“And?! What do you mea—” Twilight cut herself off and rubbed a hoof against her temple. “I don’t know why I bother sometimes.”
“Twilight, are you done sulking?” Rarity asked, ignoring Twilight’s protest when she got out of bed. She made her way right in front of Twilight and sat down before her. “Whenever you’re done sulking, I need you to ask me what I’m thinking about.”
“Darling!” Rarity exclaimed, leaning forward to kiss Twilight on the nose. “I’m ever so glad you asked!” She cleared her throat. “Now, do you remember the story I told you earlier?”
“Which one?” Twilight asked. “The one where you were my bodyguard, or the one where we staged a world-wide revolution so we could get married?”
“The bodyguard one, dearest! The second one isn’t a story; it’s our early planning, of course.”
“Of course,” Twilight said, knowing she’d lost a battle and sitting down before the Princess, her helmet coming off in short-order. “What about the story?”
Rarity giggled maliciously. “Weeeeeell,” she said, tracing circles with her hoof on Twilight’s chest plate, proudly emblazoned with the Royal Family Crest. “I was thinking about it all night, and I’ll have you know I realized you were wrong about the plot hole you said you found!”
“The plot hole?” Twilight asked, her brow furrowing. “Which one? I found seventeen.”
“You did not!” Rarity shrilly protested, harrumphing. “Those weren’t plot holes! Those were—” She made a gesture with her hoof. “—minor details! Subjective details! Your wrong opinions!”
Twilight arched an eyebrow, smiling at her Princess. “Right. Minor details,” she repeated, moving close. “Two kingdoms are in political turmoil, and clearly a high ranking duke feels it appropriate to try and court the princess’s bodyguard. Saddle Arabia has one of the world’s most proficient militaries, but clearly they would have easily ripped and visible straps holding their armor together. And clearly, Rainbow Dash can be trusted to keep somepony safe without monetary incentive.”
“Twilight Sparkle! I take offense on her behalf!” Rarity exclaimed, scandalized.
“I’m not saying anything untrue.”
“We-Well, no, but I still take offense on her behalf!” She harrumphed once more and turned away. “I was so excited to share it with you, but you know, Twilight, if you didn’t like it, you could just say so.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “I did like the story,” she said, smiling when Rarity scowled her way. “I wouldn’t be so nitpicky if I hadn’t! I told you five times my favorite part was when you rescued me.”
Rarity’s pout did not fade. “You could stand to say it a sixth time…”
Twilight giggled, leaning in to nuzzle her beloved. “I really liked when you came to rescue me, even though you unrealistically appeared out of now—” A sharp clearing of somepony’s throat interrupted her. “I really liked when you came to rescue me, fabulously appearing at the right time and right place.”
The Princess’s annoyance melted, and she turned to her guard, looking terribly pleased. “Didn’t I?! It was very thrilling, if I do say so myself! I was quite the sight!” Her pleased smile turned sly, and she lifted a hoof to stroke Twilight’s cheek. “Though you didn’t have to tell me you liked it. I could tell that you did just by the way your eyes were devouring me. I’m hardly interested in fencing, but if it riles you up like that, well, I might cons—”
“Anyway,” Twilight quickly said, “I thought it was an overall good story, though I wish you hadn’t used Duke Sands in it. You haven’t even met him, and you’re already calling him an assassin.”
“Well, he is! He is absolutely an assassin! Father expects me to spend an entire afternoon touring him around the city!”
An errant, nagging thought tickled the back of her mind, but the bodyguard decided to press on. “Princess, how does that even remotely make him an assassin?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Rarity asked, flipping her mane. “He’s killing the time I could spend with you in private, finding more ways to get you hot and bothered.”
There was a moment of pause. A moment of silence as Twilight Sparkle considered the beautiful, radiant Princess before her, whom she loved as desperately as the Princess loved her. She considered her, examined her, and so she moved forward, her lips brushing against Rarity’s.
“Rarity,” she whispered at last, “do you know what would really get me hot and bothered?”
Rarity’s breathing hitched. “Yes?” she asked, closing her eyes in preparation for a kiss only for her to yelp in surprise when she was unceremoniously levitated into the air.
“For you to go to sleep!” Twilight exclaimed, getting up and dropping the whining princess on her bed. “I’m not taking notes of your meetings anymore, so either you sleep now, or I’m taking one hour away from your spa session tomorrow!”
Rarity gasped in horror. “One hour?! Have you gone mad?! You want me to have a six-hour long spa session?! What do I look like to you?! Some sort of savage?!”
“All right, all right!” Rarity screeched, scrambling under the covers. “It’s your funeral! You’ll be the one kissing my chapped lips!”
Twilight moved to the bed, properly tucking in her princess. “Well, I don’t ever go to the spa, and you still kiss me,” she pointed out.
Rarity stuck her tongue out. “Only because I’m so self-sacrificing.”
Twilight giggled, leaning down to kiss Rarity. “I’m so lucky, then,” she said when she pulled back. “I wish I knew why you’re so obsessed with the idea of being my bodyguard. This is the tenth time you’ve talked about it.”
Rarity blinked at her. “I thought it would be obvious.”
“It would?” Twilight asked.
“I don’t think about it because I want to be a bodyguard. I don’t need to be one to live for you,” Rarity said. “I only like it because I can’t wait to be able to officially call you my princess.”