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    Twilight Sparkle looked beautiful in her white wedding dress, her mane held back with a beautiful floral arrangement. She looked like a dream, frankly, even despite the great frown marring her face.

    Her friends surrounded her, sporting equally great frowns.

    Twilight,” Rarity pleaded, so opposed to the wedding she didn’t even bother to wear a dress. “You can’t do this. There is still time to call this off! Please.

    Twilight didn’t deign Rarity with a look. She just stared at the closed church doors, as stoic as ever.

    “I told you this would happen,” she said, cold. “I told all five of you in no uncertain terms that if anypony ever said it again, I would do it.”

    Applejack stepped towards her. “We know that, sugarcube, and we were all respectin’ your choice, but you and I both know Rainbow is an idiot.”


    “She’s not wrong,” Fluttershy whispered, upset.

    “Twilight,” Rarity spoke up again, harsh. “Twilight, think of what you’re doing. This is beyond ridiculous. It’s ludicrous! There is still time to spare us all and yourself of this charade! Please.”

    Twilight finally spun around, irate. “No. I’m doing this. None of you will ever understand what’s it like to have ponies say this all the time! To just be doing something I love, and have ponies constantly belittle and tease me about it.” She turned back towards the doors. “I’m doing this, and this is all you and everypony else’s fault, so suck it up and go to your seats.”

    Pinkie whined. “But… But Twili—”


    After a final round of whines, all five friends filed off inside the bustling church, taking their spots near the front.

    “I can’t believe she’s going through with this,” Rarity whispered, horrified. “This must be a nightmare. It must be.”

    “Don’t think it is, sugarcube,” Applejack replied calmly, having apparently resigned herself to the entire thing. She gestured to Princess Luna sitting a little ways away. “She looks just as bothered as you do, and she ain’t doing anythin’ to stop this.”

    Before Rarity could say anything, music began to play and everypony present rose, all sporting looks of varying distress.

    The church doors opened and Twilight Sparkle stepped out, her expression as determined as her steps. She made it all the way to the front, and then turned back towards the door, awaiting the entrance of her legal, permanent other half.

    There was a momentary pause, and then wearing a best man suit, Spike appeared, looking beyond uncomfortable as he pushed a stroller on which the betrothed sat.

    The Betrothed being the fifth edition of Starswirl The Bearded’s Advance Magical Theorems Vol. 1. An unwrapped edition, too, wearing the smallest of black bowties.

    You see, if ponies were to constantly joke that she would marry a book, then she might as well shut them up by doing so.

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    1. A Deer
      May 2, '23 at 1:25 pm

      I bet a dictionary was Twilight’s maid of honor. Not just any dictionary – a Merriam Webster. Also Luna’s been through this before. She’s known Twilight longer.

      All these were fun stories! Enjoyed reading them all.

    2. ShadowLDrago
      May 2, '23 at 12:50 am

      The Betrothed being the fifth edition of Starswirl The Bearded’s Advance Magical Theorems Vol. 1. An unwrapped edition, too, wearing the smallest of black bowties.

      … While on one hand, I feel bad for Twilight for getting shit for doing what she likes, this, is taking it a little too far.

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