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    Rainbow Dash was so friggin’ excited. 

    Not only was she hanging out with her friends, but they were also taking her to a SUPER COOL SECRET PARK that she’d never been to before! So secret she was even blindfolded and stuff! 

    Man, she’d make a cool secret agent.

    Anyway.

    “Never been to this one?” she asked as her friends guided her towards… wherever. “I dunno, girls. I’ve been to a LOT of parks.”

    “You’ve never been to this one,” Rarity said, politely. 

    “Are you su—”

    “Yes,” Rarity interrupted. Immediately. “I am.”

    “Rarity,” she heard AJ whisper, chastising. “Don’t be like that.”

    Huh! Rainbow Dash thought. Rarity was probably jealous that the others never took her anywhere special! 

    “So, what’s at this park?” Rainbow asked. “Anything fun?”

    “Uhm,” said Fluttershy. “They spray water at you sometimes…”

    Rainbow gasped, stoked. “Whaaat?! Like a water park?!” 

    “Something like that…” 

    “What else do they have?!”

    Twilight cleared her throat. “Machinery! For drilling and filling. And cleaning.” She paused. “Kind of like… miniature power-washing.”

    Oh. My. Gosh!” 

    Rainbow was vibrating with excitement. This place sounded almost as cool as her.

    “Man, this sounds awesome, girls,” she said, genuinely. She almost choked up a little, even. “It’s great having friends like you guys who always take me to the cool places.”

    Not a single one of her friends said anything to that, which was obviously because they were very touched and emotional. Heh, dweebs (but lovingly). 

    “All right, we’re here!” Rarity exclaimed. 

    Rainbow’s wings flapped at her side, taking several steps forward into… Wait. That didn’t feel like grass. That felt like floor. 

    “Let’s just get it over with,” said Twilight, followed by her magic removing Rainbow’s blindfold. 

    Rainbow blinked, looking around with confusion. They were not at a park at all, but inside a little clinical-looking waiting room. 

    “Huh!” She looked to her friends. “This kiiinda doesn’t look like a park?”

    “It’s… an inside park?” Fluttershy replied, wincing when Applejack smacked her hoof against her own face. 

    Rainbow frowned. “What? Those don’t exis—”

    “Hello!”

    She turned around, and the color drained from her face at the sight of a stallion wearing a doctor’s coat with a big tooth sewn on the flank. He looked at a chart he was holding. 

    “Miss… Rainbow Dash, is it?”

    Rainbow gasped. And then gasped again when she realized this was no park. This was the exact opposite of a park. This was like… THE DENTIST. 

    OH NO. 

    She turned around, ready to escape, and what betrayal she felt at the sight of all five of her friends barricading the door, each holding a weapon at the ready: Twilight, her magic; Fluttershy, Angel Bunny; Pinkie, a balloon shaped like Angel Bunny; Applejack, a lasso; and Rarity, a dress (for some reason?). 

    “Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said, threatening, “you can’t never go to the dentist.”

    “Yes, I can!” Rainbow protested, ignoring Rarity practically fainting when she said, “I haven’t brushed my teeth in years and it’s been okay!”

    “Rainbow!” Twilight said, horrified. “This is exactly how tooth decay happens! Do you want your teeth to fall out?!”

    “What? That’s nothing to worry about!” Rainbow insisted, ignoring Rarity actually fainting when she said, “I’ve super-glued like six of them back in, and they’re still there!”


    Eight hours later, Rainbow Dash blinked awake, finding Applejack had lasso’d her to the dentist’s chair. Her friends were standing by, watching her expectantly. 

    “Welcome back, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “How’re you feelin’?”

    Instinctively, Rainbow ran her tongue over her teeth and… found they were okay. And not only that, but the pain she’d been taking six ibuprofen for every five hours for months was gone? Huh! Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea. 

    But still, she huffed and looked away from her friends. “I ain’t telling anything to you traitors!”

    “All right, ladies,” said the dentist, walking over with a piece of paper. “Due to the severity of the patient’s… DIY damage, I’ve had to revise my cost estimate significantly.” He smiled politely as he handed it over to Fluttershy. “Who will be paying?”

    Fluttershy took one look at it, said “Oh, goodness!” and immediately passed it to Rarity, who almost fainted again after a glance but not before passing it to Twilight, and so on and so forth until it was Applejack’s turn. Without breaking eye contact with Rainbow, she laid it on Rainbow’s chest, and then the five friends immediately exited the room in a quiet and orderly fashion. 

    The dentist looked at Rainbow.

    Rainbow looked at the dentist. 

    “Do you accept payment in the form of super cool flight stunts?”

    “No, Miss Dash.”

    “What if I throw an autographed picture in there, eh? Eh?

    No, Miss Dash.”

    “Aw, ponyfeathers.”


    me: i will do a small drabble today :) only 200 words

    me, 800 words later: GOD DAMN IT

    —-

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    13 Comments

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    1. Gavier
      Apr 18, '23 at 11:59 am

      I’m loving this gradual addition of RD to the Monochromatic arsenal. Can’t wait to see it used against me

    2. Peppermint Snow
      Apr 13, '23 at 8:38 pm

      This was great! She was so excited for the park I almost feel bad

    3. Naduran
      Apr 13, '23 at 5:41 pm

      me: i will do a small drabble today 🙂 only 200 words
      me, 800 words later: GOD DAMN IT

      Rainbow Dashs ego awesomeness will not be contained by such a short story.

    4. Juniper Moonlight
      Apr 13, '23 at 1:28 am

      Oof… even in equestria you have to pay the bill.
      But also, congrats to dash for not having to be on painkillers forever… at least for now.

    5. Dimbulb
      Apr 12, '23 at 10:20 pm

      How strong is RD’s liver to be able to take all that ibuprofen? Dang.

    6. SigmasonicX
      Apr 12, '23 at 9:49 pm

      lmao that was great. Loved how the other girls described the “park” they were going to, and their ways of keeping her inside, and the aftermath of Rainbow’s operation… so basically the entire thing.

    7. A Deer
      Apr 12, '23 at 4:23 pm

      I wish I had friends to take me to the park to take me to the dentist. And I feel Rainbow here. If my friends took me for ice cream and instead I wake up at the doctor’s without an appendix or my foot or something I would be a little miffed. Like yeah, I might’ve ceased living otherwise but I would’ve had ice cream! Got to take chances in life.

      This was a fun story. Enjoyed the humor. Wishing Rainbow a speedy recovery from her dental work and medical bills.

    8. Anonymous Guest
      Apr 12, '23 at 4:06 pm

      Good story! I’m reminded of one with a similar vibe that was AJ going to the dentist. Good stuff, good stuff.

    9. ShadowLDrago
      Apr 12, '23 at 3:43 pm

      Rainbow was vibrating with excitement. This place sounded almost as cool as her.

      You know, just because I can see the punchline coming a mile away, doesn’t make it any less fun.

    10. Anonymous Guest
      Apr 12, '23 at 3:16 pm

      Pft.
      Also damn Twilight, cold. Like you couldn’t get the dentist compensated by the crown.

      The ibuprofen line may have killed me though. RIP

      1. JMP
        @Anonymous GuestApr 12, '23 at 4:07 pm

        Surprised it hasn’t killed Rainbow….

        1. @JMPApr 12, '23 at 4:12 pm

          she’s built different…

          1. Anonymous Guest
            @MonochromaticApr 13, '23 at 8:15 am

            (5% Loctite by weight)