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    Little Mono Update

    Hi everyone,

    Wanted to make a blogpost because enough folk have asked if everything is okay with me since I haven’t posted in a while.

    The short of it is things just keep happening in my personal life this year that have worn me down to nothing. Just last week a grandparent died, and that was on the back of something else happening that really damaged me personally, and that’s on the back of everything else that has gone wrong this year (which is many incredibly painful things I won’t go into detail about).

    Though a week ago this blogpost would have been about how I’m ready to quit writing (and frankly, life in general) and move back to Mexico, the reality is I am apparently a fighter (for better or worse). Writing will come soon (I hope; I’m just as desperate for Mono content as maybe some of you are), but the reality is I need to essentially focus on healing the damage this year has done to me. As much as I’ve fought it, it’s literally the only option. I can’t put my writing brain to work while my emotional/mental health brain is bleeding to death.

    I’m okay now. My birthday is next week, and I just took a little vacation I’ve been planning for months that had several moments that reminded me I am still capable of being happy. So, right now, as I type this, I think I’ll be okay in time.

    My current plan is to find a full-time job–not because freelancing didn’t work, but because I need to recognize right now I can’t rely on my writing. I’m trying to find a temp job that will tide me over for however long I need to be 100% good again, and then I want to give freelancing a second shot.

    To those reading this, thank you as always for supporting me while I’m struggling. I hope this will end soon. I desperately wish for the arrival of the day when I wake up and things that hurt me don’t anymore. I miss writing, and I miss creating, and frankly, I just miss not having my every other thought be ‘what if I jump off a building?’.

    I’m going to try and keep writing, now and even while I have my full-time job, if I have it, but I’ll have to ask you continue to be patient. Content will come slowly and haphazardly as I’m allowing myself to just work on whatever I have the energy for.

    Thank you as always,

    Mono

    20 Comments

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    1. Elizabeth
      Jul 19, '23 at 1:37 pm

      Take all the time you need to recover, mono! We will be here when you are ready!

    2. Anonymous Guest
      Jul 6, '23 at 2:16 am

      Take all the time you need<3 You are more important than any story you write. Healing is more important. I know it doesn't mean much coming from a stranger but your stories helped me through a time where I was very depressed and suicidal and I would be very sad if you died. I hope you can get to a point where these rhings no longer plauge your mind. You are a great artist and I believe you deserve all the best. Take good care of yourself and don't you ever give up! <333

    3. Ryebuck Junction
      Jun 25, '23 at 2:22 am

      Sending a virtual hug your way mate <3

      Your fics are some of the most heartfelt I've read and have helped me cheer up In occasions where I've felt down.
      Your readers are cheering for you ^ω^

      Lots of Love,
      – Rye

    4. makise-homura
      Jun 22, '23 at 1:41 pm

      Uh…
      I may say thing that is quite a cliché, but believe me, it’s always darkest right before the dawn. You know, bad things happen, and they literally may seem like it’s all at worst, and there’s no chance things become better, but it’s all just an illusion. I hope, no, I’m sure it’ll be better soon.

      Just remember about Rarity from TEL: she did not give up even when all seemed like there is no chance at all, when it was obvious that the curse befallen on her and there is no point in trying anymore, and when the only thing she might do is desperately wandering the Everfree, nearly being killed by timberwolves. Even when she left Ponyville in the last two years, it wasn’t because she gave up, but because she had things to do. I’m sure you have things to do too, and emotions and feelings to sort out; but Rarity was such strong to do things for Twilight a thousand times over, and I’m sure you’re as strong as her.

      I wish I can say, “I know how do you feel”, but it is wrong, as I can’t really be sure I can feel the same. Instead, I just remind you that whatever tragedy you experience, however broken and lost you feel, and how much do you think about quitting everything and giving up, there’s always people around that can support you and it would really be a pleasure for them to do it. You know, people who love your writing, people who were inspired by you, people whose life had changed because of your stories, and who are very grateful to you for all this. I’m sure there are a lot of them, even I personally know a couple, and I am being such a person myself.

      Still there’s no point in burning yourself out if you feel broken and exhausted. Take your time, do whatever you feel you need to recover emotionally and mentally. Listen to music you like, write stories and drabbles you want, talk to people you wish to, reject the deadlines and stuff you can. You being happy is paramount, all other things may wait.

      Happy upcoming birthday Mono, and I wish your life will turn much much better very soon!

    5. Anonymous Guest
      Jun 22, '23 at 7:09 am

      we are rooting for you!

    6. Just sompony
      Jun 21, '23 at 11:26 am

      This might sound a little odd but thank you for being an inspiration. I’ve been told about people fighting back, but they’re too far from me to feel real – they’re either ancient people or people I hardly know, or both- and you’re the first whom I feel is real.
      I found this when reading other comments:

      Stubbornness is good. Stick around for the dumbest reasons, it’s the best way. A season of a show you like coming out later this summer? Stick around for that. An album release from a favourite musician? Stay for that. Fic ideas that you want to write but don’t have the energy for? Stay around so you can write them.

      When I read it, I added this for myself: “An update from Monochromatic? Stick around for that.” You’ve definitely made a difference, nay, a bunch of differences, to me, and plausibly to far more people in the world.
      And happy birthday and have a good vacation! I’ll always be patient for you.

    7. Tillion
      Jun 21, '23 at 10:31 am

      take ya time, take care of yaself first, and we’ll be here when yer ready

    8. Yae
      Jun 20, '23 at 7:40 am

      We’re so proud of you, take care of yourself most importantly. Don’t stress over any fanfic remember to prioritize yourself we what’s best for you!

    9. Anonymous Guest
      Jun 20, '23 at 6:53 am

      Mono,
      Just keep on going. We’re all here for you.

    10. Dimbulb
      Jun 19, '23 at 5:43 pm

      You can take as much time as you need, Mono!

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