First I wanted to say thank you to everyone who reached out during my last blogpost. I haven’t been able to reply to everyone, but know I read everything, and it meant more than any of you can know. I felt so f*cking alone, and all of you plus everyone who came to see me at EFNW reminded me that… that I miss this, and it’s important, and I am so so tired of being miserable at a job that makes me miserable and takes away my ability to do what I care about.
I’m quitting my job.
For the sake of making it easy, I’m posting below what I posted on my Patreon today, and all my sentiments I say, know I mean them here too.
I asked for help, and you all showed up. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It was really you guys who gave me the strength and courage and fortitude to do what I’ve been longing but feared to do for so long.
Hi everyone. It’s been a while! I think. Unless you read the very raw post I made on my website where I said I was so burnt out from my work, I feel like I’m barely alive and my exhaustion has just plagued every single facet of my work.
Well! I quit my job (or will quit; I’m handing my resignation on Tuesday and will work for a month to close off my pending duties).
I’m going to be transparent with you all! I don’t have anything lined up. Against all odds, I’m just… going to try and figure it out as a freelance writer or just at whatever makes me happy because God, I miss being happy. I miss feeling like I’m working towards something I want. I want to CREATE. TO WRITE. To live my life. I want this so badly, so I’m going to do it. EFNW was an eye-opener in that respect, actually. It viscerally reminded me that this–interacting with readers, writing, being creative–is what I want and makes me happy. So I’m just going to take the plunge and do it.
Beyond commissions and freelance stuff I’ll start hustling with, starting October 1st, patreon is going to be my basic source of income so I’m going to work hard to fill this place up with content! Y’all will have so much to read! Against all odds, I’m going to make writing my job, and I’m going to figure out. I’m gonna be honest, it’s terrifying. But I want to try. I keep saying how I wish I could try and make it as a writer and live doing what I love, so…
I’m gonna do just that. Going to finish my fics, do original stuff, just create and write and make it work. Get ready for Grad school next year! I’m determined to make it on my own, but for the sake of anyone worrying, I have a few things set up to help tide me over if I have an emergency or need it.
Anyway, for the first time in years, I’m excited about the future of my craft and my writing, and I hope you are too.
This is it, fellow RariTwiers. We’re hitting the big leagues now, and it’s gonna be hard as hell, and it’s the most terrifying thing I’ve done beyond maybe leaving Mexico to move to the U.S. with no job and just my savings, but god damn it, we are going to do it.
If I’m going to crash and burn, which I won’t but still, I would rather do it while attempting to do what makes me happy, as opposed of slowly withering away at a life I hate.
I’m going to make not just all of you proud, but I’m going to make myself proud, no matter what.